I must admit that I do communicate with others from different
groups differently. I have found that
when I discuss certain things happening in my state with a co-worker, the
conversation turns to how the governor (who I happened to vote for) is to blame
for the educational downfall in our state.
At first I was a bit offended.
Now I just let her talk while I listen and I make few comments. She is a good friend, and I do not want to
come to verbal blows and damage our relationship. I do get uncomfortable when differing
political views are shared by others.
I also found that when I communicate with those with whom
English is not the native language, I tend to raise the pitch of my voice and
talk sloooooweeeeerrrr than normal. I
understand that they may wish for me to speak slower, but I need to take cues
from them rather than assuming this is the case.
Communication with my husband is different than that with my
daughter. The words are not the
same. I also use non-verbal cues with my
husband. The way I communicate with my daughter
is not the same as with my students.
To help enhance my communication I can first of all use the
Platinum Rule (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). To anticipate the how others would want to be
treated and then act on it would be an asset to me, rather than jumping to
conclusions or saying something that I will regret.
I also need to work on “unintentional communication” (Vuckovic, 2008, p. 55). My
body language and non-verbal communication often sends messages that I am
uninterested, bored, or lack empathy with the speaker. Also, I need to learn all I can about each
student and their families so that I do not send unintentional messages. Finally,
I need to educate myself about other cultures and re-shift the cultural myopia
(O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012) that I encounter from time to time. I need to walk in someone else’s shoes and
learn as much as I can before I assume that my ways are always best.
References
Beebe,
S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal
communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
O' Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real
communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Vuckovic,
A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A
foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and
Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.
Hi Kristi,
ReplyDeleteYes, you and I must share the same need to self-talk when engaging in conversations on politics. I do find myself jumping to conclusions, tuning out, or not giving the benefit of the doubt when I listen to someone with opposing political views, especially if they are blaming my party. Definitely a need for using the platinum rule!
Kristi,
ReplyDeleteNicely written post. We all communicate differently in different situations. I really liked it when you said "I need to walk in someone else's shoes and learn as much as I can before I assume that my ways are always best." It is often hard to see someone else's points of view unless you are willing to step out of your comfort zone and walk in their shoes. You will learn about the other person and may even learn something about yourself.
Luci
Hi Kristi
ReplyDeleteI tend to simplify the language I use and speak slower when I speak to people who have English as their second language as well. Knowing this about myself, I try to be mindful of practicing intercultural sensitivity be remembering that this assumption may offend others if they perceive it as an indication that I do not think they are intelligent enough (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012). There are times though that we all need to adapt what we are saying to our audience.
Carolyn
O' Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Kristi,
ReplyDeleteIt is hilarious that you say you speak slower when talking to people who do not speak English. I too speak with a heavy accent in emphasizing words when talking to people with ESL as a second language. I am sure they are thinking what an idiot LOL! Like you I am working on my body language as I tend to still send signals that are the opposite of my verbal lnaguage. I am pretty bad at it too, hoping this class will keep me in check. Great post!
I do the exact same things. I am very passionate about politics and when there is someone who I am friends with or have to share a certain space with I tend to let them express themselves making as few comments as possible. I got ticled when you talked about peple that speak different languages because I tend to do the same things.I really enjoyed reading your post.
ReplyDeleteI too speak slower when communicating with families who speak Spanish. I though find that there are certain families who also adjust their communication style to fit mine. I appreciate that when they knowingly understand that it is not always easy to understand them. Working on my body language is something that I have to keep in mind, this is often hard for me but I must say I am trying.
ReplyDeleteKristi, I enjoyed your post. I chuckled when I thought about how differently we speak to our children when compared to speaking to our spouse or in my case my significant other. Mine youngest two are children and I definitely choose my words carefully and I often have to think about my body language when I am speaking with them.
Millie