Week 3: Communicating With Others

I must admit that I do communicate with others from different groups differently.  I have found that when I discuss certain things happening in my state with a co-worker, the conversation turns to how the governor (who I happened to vote for) is to blame for the educational downfall in our state.  At first I was a bit offended.  Now I just let her talk while I listen and I make few comments.  She is a good friend, and I do not want to come to verbal blows and damage our relationship.  I do get uncomfortable when differing political views are shared by others.

I also found that when I communicate with those with whom English is not the native language, I tend to raise the pitch of my voice and talk sloooooweeeeerrrr than normal.  I understand that they may wish for me to speak slower, but I need to take cues from them rather than assuming this is the case.

Communication with my husband is different than that with my daughter.  The words are not the same.  I also use non-verbal cues with my husband.  The way I communicate with my daughter is not the same as with my students.

To help enhance my communication I can first of all use the Platinum Rule (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  To anticipate the how others would want to be treated and then act on it would be an asset to me, rather than jumping to conclusions or saying something that I will regret.

I also need to work on “unintentional communication” (Vuckovic, 2008, p. 55).  My body language and non-verbal communication often sends messages that I am uninterested, bored, or lack empathy with the speaker.  Also, I need to learn all I can about each student and their families so that I do not send unintentional messages. Finally, I need to educate myself about other cultures and re-shift the cultural myopia (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012) that I encounter from time to time.  I need to walk in someone else’s shoes and learn as much as I can before I assume that my ways are always best.

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O' Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

Careful Observation...

I watched The Big Theory for this blog entry.  It was interesting to watch with the sound off (and fun to watch with the sound on).

The show opened with a lady talking with a man, and another man steaming a Star Trek uniform. A man opened a case (which I thought was maybe a tackle box) and the lady handed him a package which he placed inside.  She looked a little puzzled, while he looked a bit proud.  He also took a picture with her and a newspaper.  She looked upset, he looked happy.  The next scene shows the two guys with two other guys in a car.  One is driving and the three other are conversing.  One of the passengers points to the GPS, and the men in the back of the car converse more, all are using hand gestures, as if they are not happy with the driver.  The driver turns on the GPS, and the other front seat passenger smiles.  I thought they were happy that he had turned on the GPS.

The next scene has three conversing ladies in it.  Some use facial expressions as if to say that are unhappy.  I thought they were having a disagreement among themselves.  They come back on in a comic book store.  As they enter, the male customers show shock and surprise, and even seem like they “want” the women.  One of the ladies tosses her head and smiles. The owner says something and the men go back to whatever they were doing.  The ladies then go to an apartment and read the book they got.  They continue talking, looking at the book, and their body language seems as if they are into whatever they are reading. 

The four men are next shown taking pictures in their Star Trek uniforms.  They are posing for the camera and one of the men suddenly looks distraught, waves his hands, and the other three look as upset.  The men start walking and then are shown at a café.  The others in the café look like they are surprised to see someone dressed up like Star Trek characters.  There is smiling and I believe laughter.

The men then converse with a police officer who seems like he is not that sympathetic with them by his lack of attentiveness and amount of comments.  He does not seem like he is taking accurate notes.

When I watched with the sound on, I found out that the tackle box was a make-up kit, the men were going to a Comic-Con convention, and the ladies were reading a comic book.  The GPS scene had the character using a voice-over as the GPS sound, and this is why the other passenger had insisted on turning it on.  The car had been stolen, and the characters were frustrated over this.  The ladies also were not disagreeing, just having intense conversation.

Watching this show not knowing the characters made me think of how I observe people communicating.  Sometimes I make assumptions about what is being said and it is not the case.  I also thought about how communication is sometimes easier for me when I know the people, as I did not know the characters in the show and it made following the plot more difficult for me.  Interesting assignment!       

Effective Communicator

This week, I have been thinking about who I would recognize on the blog for having competent communication.  One person who has modeled this for me is the principal at my school.  She is very thorough, but brief.  She is comfortable talking in a large group of individuals, and she “keeps her cool” even when asked controversial questions or when others are irate.  She listens well and restates questions or thoughts to let you know that she truly got what you were saying.  She is also open and honest in her communication.  She is a great model for me, and I would pattern my communication skills after her.