Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

In thinking about how I would handle a response to complaints about a gay, lesbian, or transgender working with children, I would respond that I have my own personal beliefs (strong ones at that) about these issues.  However, there is a line to be drawn for my professional life.  Character is above all in my mind when I think about my students and my own child.  I work in a public school, and just as I am not to share my faith (i.e. talking about the Christian belief of Easter being about Jesus or Christmas about the birth of Jesus, or that Halloween can be perceived as evil by some) I think that views about sexual orientation would not be shared.  Now, as children are curious and ask questions about personal life, I could see someone stating that they are gay, and explaining what that means as the children question (in age appropriate terms).  However, just because a person has a certain sexual orientation does not mean that they are going to be teaching children in graphic terms about their choice in a mate.  Again, I have my own personal views about this, but as a professional I am more concerned about the type of environment and character of the individual.  I would also explain that the person is highly qualified with immense knowledge in the ECE field or they would not be at the center.

My husband sort of experienced similar bias, but not on a sexual orientation level, rather on a sexist level.  He has worked with children in some form or another since he was in high school.  The first year of our marriage (we have been married ten years, so it was not that long ago) he decided he wanted a career change.  He loved working with Pre-School aged children and had worked at a Parent’s Day Out program at his church.  Supervisors felt that he was a gifted individual.  He decided he wanted to teach Pre-School children full time, so he set out to find a job at a day care center.  Please keep in mind that we were living in a large metropolitan city at the time.  He was called in for an interview and was hired!  He was so excited.  When the families at the center learned that a male was going to be the lead teacher, they were shocked and worried about the level of care that the children would receive.  Some families even threatened to pull their children out of the center.  He wrote a letter giving his name and basically his resume, and even included references.  A few families contacted them.  He felt frustrated that he was encountering this bias.  He hung in, and in the end, the families were all pleased with his performance and new families were excited about having him as their child’s teacher.  They saw that he was not going to harm the children, but was enriching their lives.  I would have expected this from my little county, but not the big city.  When we moved back to my county, he applied at a daycare here and there was little bias exhibited.  I was really surprised at this.

I have never had any children say any degrading terms when talking to each other.  We do not allow children to label each other, so we do not tolerate this in my class.  My assistant related that her grandson wore a hat to school and another boy said, “That’s so gay!” He called and was wondering what this meant.  She told him that gay meant happy. He obviously had no idea what this meant, but knew that it was not a compliment. It seems that when children use these terms that it is something they have learned outside of school.  Perhaps a family member has used it derogatorily.  If these terms are addressed and dealt with, children will continue using them and the “cycle of socialization” (Harro, 2010, p. 46) will continue.  Children need to be challenged on negative terms and the use of microaggressions, not just on sexual identity, but anything that exhibits bias.

Harro, B. (2010). The cycle of socialization. In M. Adams, W. Blumenfeld, C. Castaneda, H. W. Hackman, M. L. Peters, & X. Zuniga (Eds.), Readings for diversity and social justice (Figure 6.1 on p. 46, 2nd ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.

Fond Farewell

The past several months have been quite a journey.  I cannot believe that we are nearing the end of completing our Master's!  Each of you has contributed to my personal growth, causing me to look inside and reflect on my practices and beliefs about working with children, families, and communities.  I appreciate the amount of encouragement that you have given as well. Each of the professors have contributed to my growth as well, and have boosted my confidence levels.  I appreciate all the support that has come my way from you all.  I wish you success and joy as you continue your journey.  I hope that our paths may cross again.  Should you wish to remain in contact, I can be reached at Kristi.Hargis@waldenu.edu

Blessings to you!

Kristi

Adjourning

Some of the groups I have been part of over the years have caused me great relief when I have adjourned!  Those were the groups where the team didn’t ever reach a cohesive state.  I would guess we all have been part of those groups.

One of the groups that was perhaps the hardest to adjourn from was the team that I taught with in China.  When we went, we went through all the stages that we identified this week.  After we all got to know each other and the intent of going to teach English while building relationships with the Chinese, we were able to be a cohesive group of teachers.  We experienced a special meal before we left China, attended by university officials, where we were each given mementos.  The staff shared how grateful they were for our work there.  As a closing ritual for the mission team, we had a “debriefing” meeting privately before we came back to the states, and shared all the incredible things that had taken place in our lives, as we each had personal transformations occur. 

I cannot believe how fast the last year has gone by.  I imagine that the contacts I have made with my colleagues will continue.  I have grown from each of your wisdom and support! 

Adjourning is an essential part of teamwork because it brings closure to the group and is sort of a wrap up phase to the group.

Confilct in Communication

At the beginning of our school year, we have what is called “phase in days.”  Students come to school in small groups for the first couple of weeks to get used to the schedule and we do screenings.  Always before the students have attended until 1:00, the normal dismissal time.  This year, however, one of the teachers decided to check on getting it changed until 11:30.  I personally liked the 1:00 time as students got to experience the full day including lunch in the cafeteria.  It was not until we were eating lunch out that one teacher said she had spoken to our Pre-K supervisor and the state consultant and had gotten the time changed until 11:30.  I was furious.  I did not say anything.  I decided best not to speak my mind. 

When we got back to my campus, I told my two fellow teachers that I was not a big fan of this change.  One of the teachers said they could tell by looking at my face.  I asked why we were not consulted on this. 

I think that I could have used reciprocation.  I could have looked at this with the knowledge that the teacher who suggested it has been doing this a long time and that she knew from experience this would be best.  In retrospect, it turned out great.  I have a very young group of children this year who were extremely immature at the beginning of school, and this really worked best for them.  I tend to be an escapist when it comes to conflict, so I was not going to say much even though I felt like it.  I also feel like I could have struck a compromise with the teacher and the supervisor.  I also could have shown her respect, knowing that she has the best interest of the children at heart.

Week 4 Who am I?

This was quite an interesting assignment this week.  I had a co-worker and my husband complete the assessments to rate me.  There were similarities, but there were some differences that I was a bit surprised at. 

The Communication Anxiety Inventory (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009) completed by my co-worker showed that I was in the low level of anxiety when communicating.  I was surprised at this result.  Both my husband and I rated my communication anxiety in the moderate level, with only two points separating our score.  I was further surprised by the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009).  I do not perceive myself as exhibiting any sort of aggression in most communication and situations.  I feel that I am generally easy going and avoid aggressive behaviors.  My score was in the moderate level (score was 62) indicating that I strike balance with communication from other speakers.  My husband rated me in the significant category (with a score of 70).  My co-worker also rated me in this category (with a score of 69). 

Being verbally aggressive is not a quality that I want to be associated with, but apparently I must sometimes cross the line and get argumentative or hurtful.  When communicating with others, I need to remember that everyone has an opinion and it may differ from mine.  I need to use wait time before I respond.  In working with children and families, I need to remember that they want what is best for their child and I need to see their point of view before being snappy or judgmental. 

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Week 3: Communicating With Others

I must admit that I do communicate with others from different groups differently.  I have found that when I discuss certain things happening in my state with a co-worker, the conversation turns to how the governor (who I happened to vote for) is to blame for the educational downfall in our state.  At first I was a bit offended.  Now I just let her talk while I listen and I make few comments.  She is a good friend, and I do not want to come to verbal blows and damage our relationship.  I do get uncomfortable when differing political views are shared by others.

I also found that when I communicate with those with whom English is not the native language, I tend to raise the pitch of my voice and talk sloooooweeeeerrrr than normal.  I understand that they may wish for me to speak slower, but I need to take cues from them rather than assuming this is the case.

Communication with my husband is different than that with my daughter.  The words are not the same.  I also use non-verbal cues with my husband.  The way I communicate with my daughter is not the same as with my students.

To help enhance my communication I can first of all use the Platinum Rule (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  To anticipate the how others would want to be treated and then act on it would be an asset to me, rather than jumping to conclusions or saying something that I will regret.

I also need to work on “unintentional communication” (Vuckovic, 2008, p. 55).  My body language and non-verbal communication often sends messages that I am uninterested, bored, or lack empathy with the speaker.  Also, I need to learn all I can about each student and their families so that I do not send unintentional messages. Finally, I need to educate myself about other cultures and re-shift the cultural myopia (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012) that I encounter from time to time.  I need to walk in someone else’s shoes and learn as much as I can before I assume that my ways are always best.

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O' Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

Careful Observation...

I watched The Big Theory for this blog entry.  It was interesting to watch with the sound off (and fun to watch with the sound on).

The show opened with a lady talking with a man, and another man steaming a Star Trek uniform. A man opened a case (which I thought was maybe a tackle box) and the lady handed him a package which he placed inside.  She looked a little puzzled, while he looked a bit proud.  He also took a picture with her and a newspaper.  She looked upset, he looked happy.  The next scene shows the two guys with two other guys in a car.  One is driving and the three other are conversing.  One of the passengers points to the GPS, and the men in the back of the car converse more, all are using hand gestures, as if they are not happy with the driver.  The driver turns on the GPS, and the other front seat passenger smiles.  I thought they were happy that he had turned on the GPS.

The next scene has three conversing ladies in it.  Some use facial expressions as if to say that are unhappy.  I thought they were having a disagreement among themselves.  They come back on in a comic book store.  As they enter, the male customers show shock and surprise, and even seem like they “want” the women.  One of the ladies tosses her head and smiles. The owner says something and the men go back to whatever they were doing.  The ladies then go to an apartment and read the book they got.  They continue talking, looking at the book, and their body language seems as if they are into whatever they are reading. 

The four men are next shown taking pictures in their Star Trek uniforms.  They are posing for the camera and one of the men suddenly looks distraught, waves his hands, and the other three look as upset.  The men start walking and then are shown at a café.  The others in the café look like they are surprised to see someone dressed up like Star Trek characters.  There is smiling and I believe laughter.

The men then converse with a police officer who seems like he is not that sympathetic with them by his lack of attentiveness and amount of comments.  He does not seem like he is taking accurate notes.

When I watched with the sound on, I found out that the tackle box was a make-up kit, the men were going to a Comic-Con convention, and the ladies were reading a comic book.  The GPS scene had the character using a voice-over as the GPS sound, and this is why the other passenger had insisted on turning it on.  The car had been stolen, and the characters were frustrated over this.  The ladies also were not disagreeing, just having intense conversation.

Watching this show not knowing the characters made me think of how I observe people communicating.  Sometimes I make assumptions about what is being said and it is not the case.  I also thought about how communication is sometimes easier for me when I know the people, as I did not know the characters in the show and it made following the plot more difficult for me.  Interesting assignment!       

Effective Communicator

This week, I have been thinking about who I would recognize on the blog for having competent communication.  One person who has modeled this for me is the principal at my school.  She is very thorough, but brief.  She is comfortable talking in a large group of individuals, and she “keeps her cool” even when asked controversial questions or when others are irate.  She listens well and restates questions or thoughts to let you know that she truly got what you were saying.  She is also open and honest in her communication.  She is a great model for me, and I would pattern my communication skills after her.

Hopes and Goals

In thinking about my hopes for working with diverse families, I hope that first and foremost, every student and their family feel accepted and loved when they walk through the doors of my classroom.  I have realized that this takes a great deal of work, but it is worthwhile.  All children need to be recognized in my class, and the dominant culture does not need to be the only culture expressed and represented.  I am working on this in my own class, and this course has helped me learn how I can use self-reflection to aid me in this. Another key component in this is education.  Sometimes educating families and myself on issues of diversity is needed.

  A goal I have is for those in the field to “keep on keeping on” as sometimes the passion diminishes.  Teachers need time for self-reflection to see how their contributions are aiding in the quest for anti-bias education.  Burnout often occurs, and I think that self-reflection would aid in the rekindling of passion.  To help with this goal, I think there needs to be more support from other colleagues, to know that you are not in this alone.  Having collaborative groups that meet to discuss issues, topics, and solutions, in a safe environment, could also assist in this.

I want to thank each of you for aiding my understanding of diversity in this course.  I have grown personally and professionally because of your contributions.  Thanks for your questions that caused me to think.  Tammy, thank you for navigating us through this course, and for your wealth of resources you shared.  This has been an awesome class and I look forward to more with you all!   Best wishes!

Welcome, Friends!

I learned today that I would be getting a new student from the country of Pakistan.  I have heard of this country on the news, but my knowledge of the country is limited.  To better inform myself about this country, I first did research to aid me in my understanding of the country. I learned that Urdu is the official language of Pakistan, the religion of the country is primarily Muslim, agriculture is of importance, and textiles are important exports, and additionally, television is government controlled (CIA, n.d.).   I also learned that because of the Muslim religion, pork is prohibited in the diet; in family structures, women typically stay at home, while the men work (Countries and Their Culture, 2012). 

The next thing I would do would be to write a letter to the family in the native language of Urdu.  I will type the letter in English and use www.freetranslation.com to aid me in the translation.  Communication with the family will continue in the native language weekly.  I will also include the English version as well in case there are translation difficulties.

Next I will inspect every center and ensure that the Pakistani culture is represented.  I will try to get baby dolls that look similar, books that have pictures that reflect these individuals, dress up clothing, and pictures posted in the classroom.

The cafeteria will be informed of no pork in the diet.  We will offer meal substitutes and allow the student meal alternatives.

I will also ask the family about holidays and observances.  We will learn about these in the classroom and discuss them at length.

The family will be asked to share food samples from Pakistan, and come in to discuss their culture with the students if they feel comfortable doing so.

The student will also be asked to bring something, should they choose, from Pakistan that can be left in the classroom as a source of comfort for the student.

If I know ahead of time that the student will begin my class on a given date, I can discuss some of the cultural differences ahead of time.

In doing these things, I hope that the family will feel welcomed and not ostracized.  I also hope that the family can feel that we are a team, and that I am interested in their student, just as I am interested in all the others.  I also feel that in doing the research, I can deal with any biases ahead of time, and that if my information is incorrect, the family can help me learn the correct information.

References

Central Intelligence Agency. (n.d.). The world fact book: Pakistan.  Retrieved December 16, 2012 from https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/pk.html

Countries and their cultures.  (2012).  Pakistan.  Retrieved December 16, 2012 from http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Pakistan.html