Week 3: Communicating With Others

I must admit that I do communicate with others from different groups differently.  I have found that when I discuss certain things happening in my state with a co-worker, the conversation turns to how the governor (who I happened to vote for) is to blame for the educational downfall in our state.  At first I was a bit offended.  Now I just let her talk while I listen and I make few comments.  She is a good friend, and I do not want to come to verbal blows and damage our relationship.  I do get uncomfortable when differing political views are shared by others.

I also found that when I communicate with those with whom English is not the native language, I tend to raise the pitch of my voice and talk sloooooweeeeerrrr than normal.  I understand that they may wish for me to speak slower, but I need to take cues from them rather than assuming this is the case.

Communication with my husband is different than that with my daughter.  The words are not the same.  I also use non-verbal cues with my husband.  The way I communicate with my daughter is not the same as with my students.

To help enhance my communication I can first of all use the Platinum Rule (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011).  To anticipate the how others would want to be treated and then act on it would be an asset to me, rather than jumping to conclusions or saying something that I will regret.

I also need to work on “unintentional communication” (Vuckovic, 2008, p. 55).  My body language and non-verbal communication often sends messages that I am uninterested, bored, or lack empathy with the speaker.  Also, I need to learn all I can about each student and their families so that I do not send unintentional messages. Finally, I need to educate myself about other cultures and re-shift the cultural myopia (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012) that I encounter from time to time.  I need to walk in someone else’s shoes and learn as much as I can before I assume that my ways are always best.

References

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O' Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

Careful Observation...

I watched The Big Theory for this blog entry.  It was interesting to watch with the sound off (and fun to watch with the sound on).

The show opened with a lady talking with a man, and another man steaming a Star Trek uniform. A man opened a case (which I thought was maybe a tackle box) and the lady handed him a package which he placed inside.  She looked a little puzzled, while he looked a bit proud.  He also took a picture with her and a newspaper.  She looked upset, he looked happy.  The next scene shows the two guys with two other guys in a car.  One is driving and the three other are conversing.  One of the passengers points to the GPS, and the men in the back of the car converse more, all are using hand gestures, as if they are not happy with the driver.  The driver turns on the GPS, and the other front seat passenger smiles.  I thought they were happy that he had turned on the GPS.

The next scene has three conversing ladies in it.  Some use facial expressions as if to say that are unhappy.  I thought they were having a disagreement among themselves.  They come back on in a comic book store.  As they enter, the male customers show shock and surprise, and even seem like they “want” the women.  One of the ladies tosses her head and smiles. The owner says something and the men go back to whatever they were doing.  The ladies then go to an apartment and read the book they got.  They continue talking, looking at the book, and their body language seems as if they are into whatever they are reading. 

The four men are next shown taking pictures in their Star Trek uniforms.  They are posing for the camera and one of the men suddenly looks distraught, waves his hands, and the other three look as upset.  The men start walking and then are shown at a café.  The others in the café look like they are surprised to see someone dressed up like Star Trek characters.  There is smiling and I believe laughter.

The men then converse with a police officer who seems like he is not that sympathetic with them by his lack of attentiveness and amount of comments.  He does not seem like he is taking accurate notes.

When I watched with the sound on, I found out that the tackle box was a make-up kit, the men were going to a Comic-Con convention, and the ladies were reading a comic book.  The GPS scene had the character using a voice-over as the GPS sound, and this is why the other passenger had insisted on turning it on.  The car had been stolen, and the characters were frustrated over this.  The ladies also were not disagreeing, just having intense conversation.

Watching this show not knowing the characters made me think of how I observe people communicating.  Sometimes I make assumptions about what is being said and it is not the case.  I also thought about how communication is sometimes easier for me when I know the people, as I did not know the characters in the show and it made following the plot more difficult for me.  Interesting assignment!       

Effective Communicator

This week, I have been thinking about who I would recognize on the blog for having competent communication.  One person who has modeled this for me is the principal at my school.  She is very thorough, but brief.  She is comfortable talking in a large group of individuals, and she “keeps her cool” even when asked controversial questions or when others are irate.  She listens well and restates questions or thoughts to let you know that she truly got what you were saying.  She is also open and honest in her communication.  She is a great model for me, and I would pattern my communication skills after her.

Hopes and Goals

In thinking about my hopes for working with diverse families, I hope that first and foremost, every student and their family feel accepted and loved when they walk through the doors of my classroom.  I have realized that this takes a great deal of work, but it is worthwhile.  All children need to be recognized in my class, and the dominant culture does not need to be the only culture expressed and represented.  I am working on this in my own class, and this course has helped me learn how I can use self-reflection to aid me in this. Another key component in this is education.  Sometimes educating families and myself on issues of diversity is needed.

  A goal I have is for those in the field to “keep on keeping on” as sometimes the passion diminishes.  Teachers need time for self-reflection to see how their contributions are aiding in the quest for anti-bias education.  Burnout often occurs, and I think that self-reflection would aid in the rekindling of passion.  To help with this goal, I think there needs to be more support from other colleagues, to know that you are not in this alone.  Having collaborative groups that meet to discuss issues, topics, and solutions, in a safe environment, could also assist in this.

I want to thank each of you for aiding my understanding of diversity in this course.  I have grown personally and professionally because of your contributions.  Thanks for your questions that caused me to think.  Tammy, thank you for navigating us through this course, and for your wealth of resources you shared.  This has been an awesome class and I look forward to more with you all!   Best wishes!

Welcome, Friends!

I learned today that I would be getting a new student from the country of Pakistan.  I have heard of this country on the news, but my knowledge of the country is limited.  To better inform myself about this country, I first did research to aid me in my understanding of the country. I learned that Urdu is the official language of Pakistan, the religion of the country is primarily Muslim, agriculture is of importance, and textiles are important exports, and additionally, television is government controlled (CIA, n.d.).   I also learned that because of the Muslim religion, pork is prohibited in the diet; in family structures, women typically stay at home, while the men work (Countries and Their Culture, 2012). 

The next thing I would do would be to write a letter to the family in the native language of Urdu.  I will type the letter in English and use www.freetranslation.com to aid me in the translation.  Communication with the family will continue in the native language weekly.  I will also include the English version as well in case there are translation difficulties.

Next I will inspect every center and ensure that the Pakistani culture is represented.  I will try to get baby dolls that look similar, books that have pictures that reflect these individuals, dress up clothing, and pictures posted in the classroom.

The cafeteria will be informed of no pork in the diet.  We will offer meal substitutes and allow the student meal alternatives.

I will also ask the family about holidays and observances.  We will learn about these in the classroom and discuss them at length.

The family will be asked to share food samples from Pakistan, and come in to discuss their culture with the students if they feel comfortable doing so.

The student will also be asked to bring something, should they choose, from Pakistan that can be left in the classroom as a source of comfort for the student.

If I know ahead of time that the student will begin my class on a given date, I can discuss some of the cultural differences ahead of time.

In doing these things, I hope that the family will feel welcomed and not ostracized.  I also hope that the family can feel that we are a team, and that I am interested in their student, just as I am interested in all the others.  I also feel that in doing the research, I can deal with any biases ahead of time, and that if my information is incorrect, the family can help me learn the correct information.

References

Central Intelligence Agency. (n.d.). The world fact book: Pakistan.  Retrieved December 16, 2012 from https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/pk.html

Countries and their cultures.  (2012).  Pakistan.  Retrieved December 16, 2012 from http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Pakistan.html

Personally Speaking

As I have shared with you all, my family was on the poorer side of the economic spectrum growing up. When I was in college, my Dad got a really good paying job, and Mom was working at a local retail store, so their financial status began looking up. I remember an incident that happened when I was in college, though, where there was bias exhibited.  My Dad worked in a machine shop and wore old clothes.  Even when they were clean, he would sometimes choose to wear those to go out shopping.  So, one afternoon when I was home for Christmas break, he said, “Let’s go to the jewelry store and get your Mom’s Christmas present.”  He wanted to get her some diamond earrings, and he was dressed in his “comfortable” clothes. 

When we walked into the local jewelry store, we were not immediately sought out by the salespeople.  In fact, we had to ask for help.  When Dad told the lady what he wanted, she said, “Well, honey, have you thought about cubic zirconia?”  My Dad was a littler patient than I was, but I said, “Um, ma’am, he said DIAMONDS.”  She then led him to a case that had tiny little diamond chips in it.  I was SO mad, that I wanted to leave, but my Dad really wanted some for my Mom, so he continued the sale.  He told the saleslady that he wanted something a little bigger.  Again, she led him to a sale counter that was less than what Dad wanted.  He finally found what he was looking for, and when he paid in CASH I thought the lady’s eyes were going to pop out of her head.

I learned that people sometimes act in ignorance.  Stereotypes are often hard to overcome and affect interactions with others.  As an ECE professional, I try to look past outward appearances.  I have learned that this does not equal economic status.  In these tough times, someone could be dressed to the nines, clad in the best that money has, and be struggling financially.  On the flip side, someone may look less than perfect, and be well off.

I remember the anger and frustration I felt with this experience.  I remember sharing this with EVERYONE and I still do not like going into this place of business.  If everyone was treated equally, this would not have happened.

Awareness of Microaggressions

This week, I heard a five year old girl, while playing, discuss the size of toy trucks.  She stated, “The smaller trucks are for the girls, and the bigger ones are for the boys.”  She was told that the size of the trucks have nothing to do with gender.  When she was asked why she said this, she replied that boys are stronger than girls; therefore they get the bigger trucks.  The message conveyed here was that boys are stronger than girls.

I am from the south, and have a Southern twang.  I was once a bit ashamed of this, but now I draw my words out with pride!  I was once told, “You talk funny!  Are you sure you have a college degree? Weren’t you taught how to speak correctly?”  The implication was that I was dumb because I was Southern and spoke differently, even though it was proper English, just a little slower than others!  This made me feel ashamed, and for a while, I tried to make my spoken language in public appear less than Southern, which was uncomfortable and unnatural.  Now, I am proud of this, and I feel that I can express myself freely.

Thinking about these microaggressions made me reflect on how these often unintended messages have lasting impacts.  I also have learned that it is important to empower children, families, and ourselves with the ability to combat microaggressions.  Education is a tool for this, as well as direct confrontation when microaggressions occur.

Definitions of Culture and Diversity

I asked several people their definition of culture and diversity, and only received four replies.

Here are the replies I received.

“Culture is a set of attitudes, rules of behavior and beliefs held commonly within a society. Diversity is the extent to which things differ.”

“Culture is defined as developing or improving the mind by education or training.  Diversity is accepting others for their differences.”

 “Culture has two meanings.  The first is refined, steeped in proper etiquette and good manners...as in "Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind) was a very cultured southern woman.
The second definition is the area and family in which you were raised that taught you a particular set of values...as in "He was raised in a good Catholic family and was taught to go to Mass every week and to be respectful of his elders."  Diversity was defined as, “Usually used in the context of a population that is different from one another...as in, "The town I grew up in had a lower, middle-class group of working-class, blue-collar kind of people as well as an upper-middle class group of professional people. Also, diversity can be thought as a wide-ranging group of ideas...as in "During our brainstorming session, we came up with a diverse amount of ideas for solving the problem." (*Suggested looking up definition in dictionary)

The last person looked up the definition in a dictionary and did not give their personal definition of culture and diversity.  It was interesting to compare and contrast the dictionary definition to the other definitions that were given.  I am not sure if this is from Webster’s or another online dictionary, but it reads, “Culture is the integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for learning and transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations b : the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group ; also: the characteristic features of everyday existence (as diversions or a way of life; shared by people in a place or time ‹popular ~› ‹southern ~› c : the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution or organization ‹a corporate ~ focused on the bottom line› d : the set of values, conventions, or social practices associated with a particular field, activity, or societal characteristic. 

I found it interesting that one person defined culture and diversity with a dictionary, and another suggested I research this myself in a dictionary, and these were the two oldest people I asked.  I found it interesting that the definitions were very broad and some included identities that some may associate with (i.e. religious affiliation, geographical location, and social class).  I did see an expression of the dominant culture, when working class was referenced.   

I think a working definition of surface culture is represented, not deep culture.  If you used these definitions to get to know someone, this would be surface level, and not really know about traditions, values, expressions of emotions, relationships, etc. 

Prior to this class, I would have defined culture and diversity in a very broad sense as well.  I think having such a broad definition of culture often limits us as we work with children, because we only apply surface level thinking, and do not go deep into the student’s culture.  I have decided to make every effort to go deep into the culture, not just scratch the surface.

Items of Importance

If I received word that I would be evacuating from my country, I would first choose my Bible.  I would explain that this is where I draw my strength from, and that I need it to help instruct my daughter in the Christian faith, as well as help feed myself spiritually.  I also have family events chronicled in the front of the Bible, and this could serve as a reminder of important family events (births, deaths, mission trips, spiritual decisions). 

The next item I would take would be a quilt that my Grandmother made me that I have now passed down to my daughter.  It has seen a lot of my life, and holds many precious memories!  My grandmother was a very important woman in my life, and I still feel her influence.  Taking a quilt made by her would help me feel secure with all the changes that might take place in a new country.

The third item I would take would be family photos.  My husband and I both enjoy telling family history to our daughter, and this is a great way to share that history.  I would also like to take wedding photos and other photos of importance.

Wow!  What a difficult question in regards to what one item I would take with me.  After careful consideration, I would have to say that I would keep my Bible.  This is where I go for a source of comfort and words that I want my daughter to know and aid her in her spiritual growth.  I also can read guidance about being a mother and wife in the pages of God’s word.

I realized in doing this that most of my culture is closely tied to non-materialistic items.  I would not choose money over memories.  I also reflected on the importance of family in my life, and how our culture is meaningful to us.  

Reflections

Coming into this course, I was pretty much a novice at research.  I had never really studied this much beyond science class where hypotheses were tested as part of a lab course.  Taking this class has opened my eyes to the world of research.  I imagined research to be carried out by people in white lab coats, and while some may do this, this course helped me see that research is possible for everyone.  As I soaked up the knowledge in EDUC 6163, I began to see that research can be carried out by everyday professionals.

Most of the terms to me were new, so I had to really grapple for understanding at times.  However, I believe that I am much more prepared to conduct research, but really I am much more prepared to READ research.  Through this course I learned the importance and technique of conducting a literature review.  I guess I really gained a greater understanding of the research process.  I had no idea that quantitative and qualitative research existed (using those terms to define) and the mixed methods approach was new to me as well. 

I learned that there are many steps involved in a research project. I never realized the number of hours that a single project could take.  I also learned that above all, ethics must be maintained in all facets of the research. 

One of the biggest challenges for me was understanding the difference between dependent and independent variables.  I had to read and reread the examples, and read some other examples as well.  I think I have a better understanding of these terms.  Since most of this information was new to me, I really had to keep an open mind and seek to find the answers to my questions.  I think that the charts we completed really aided my understanding.

I will no longer see researchers as those mad scientists wearing lab coats.  I now see that research is an extensive process that individuals can accomplish and participate in. 

A big thank you goes out to all of you, as you have aided my understanding in this class!  Your thoughts and insights have been extremely valuable.  Thank you, Dr. Walker for seeing us through the end of the course!